Before I start: I am finishing typing this at lunchtime on Wednesday, and tonight, as I'm sure you are aware, is the night of the massive joke of a Europa League final between the two most disappointing teams in the Premier League. One of them has to win, I'm afraid, as whilst UEFA ought to be cancelling the match out of sheer embarrassment their own rules prevent them from doing so. To think that as a result of this match one of these two teams will qualify for next year's Champions League...
As an Arsenal fan, I can only hope for a thumping win for Manchester United; which is curious, because I have nothing but disdain for that club. But not as much as for their opponents. As reminding Tottenham fans about their single trophy this century is one of my reasons for living, I must hope that I can still do that in the morning. Follow follow follow!...
Anyway... that's second place wrapped up again for another year (barring a mathematical miracle, anyway). At this stage of the season it's nice - I guess - to have something to play for; although I'd prefer it to be more significant. But Sunday's win over Newcastle was tense, difficult and sometimes quite painful to watch.
There'll be plenty of time over the summer to think/talk about what we can expect before the 2025/26 season kicks off, but I thought I'd run through here some of Sunday's talking points - not just from the match itself, but also from what we heard from various club representatives in the immediate aftermath.
No surprises in the starting XI, with White deputising for the stricken Timber (now requiring an operation on his ankle; yet another injury to add to the list). Elsewhere, with Merino suspended, the team picked itself. And it was good to see Havertz back on the bench at last.
The first half was, frankly, not a pretty sight from an Arsenal viewpoint. Newcastle tore into the home side and had it not been for an on-fire David Raya Arsenal could have been three goals down in the first 15 minutes! From where I was sitting, it was clear that the opposition had set out to exploit spaces in the Arsenal midfield which - with Odegaard and particularly Rice pushing high up, and MLS otherwise engaged in full-time defending - was occupied solely by Thomas Partey. They were often able to pull even Partey out of position, leaving themselves acres of space to exploit. And exploit they did; constantly running through the middle areas of the pitch and creating havoc and some very decent chances for themselves.
Raya may have been on top shot-saving form, but his kicking left a lot to be desired. With easy out balls negated due to the nature of the Newcastle press, he tried to force a number of passes into midfield and on at least two occasions had them cut out; thereby exposing himself to great danger. At times the Arsenal midfield looked like it did in the 'peak' Emery era - completely devoid of red shirts. Barnes in particular appeared to have been awarded the Freedom of Islington for the afternoon. It was clear that something had to change, and I for one was imploring Rice to drop back and help out.
For Arsenal, there was some sporadic danger exhibited by Starboy, but in the main it was Leandro Trossard who almost single-handedly took the fight to the opposition. He was the home side's outstanding player of the half.
Half time; and it somehow remained 0-0. Newcastle had had a scarcely credible 20 shots by that point, which is pretty unprecedented. But in an interesting statistical anomaly they didn't have a single shot on target after the half-way point of the first half.
We were disappointed to see that Saliba had been withdrawn - clearly injured in some way - at half time. And we'll have to assume that as it's his hamstring that's his season done also. Based on what we'd seen in the first half, the loss of Big Bill looked like being decisive. But Calafiori came on in his place, Kivior shifted to right centre back and also took a good deal of responsibility on his shoulders, and Arsenal were rarely threatened thereafter until close to the end of the match.
As in the previous game at Anfield, Arsenal emerged a completely different side to the first half. I can only assume that Arteta had to remind them of what they had to play for, and perhaps there was something of a question of a) professional pride and b) laying down a marker for next season. Whatever it was, the second period was chalk to the first half's cheese as the Arsenal we've been more used to watching made a reappearance, and took the game to the opposition.
The pressure was soon rewarded as a high press led to Gordon (modern football's answer to Drogba and Van Nistelrooy; have you noticed the number of time he throws himself to the floor, looking to buy free kicks? But I digress...) coughing the ball up 25 yards from his own goal. Odegaard rolled the ball into the path of Rice (with his right foot by the way), and Dec finished the move with a trademark whipped effort into the far corner of the net, giving Pope no chance. A difficult technique, and a sumptuous finish.
Arsenal continued to exploit Newcastle's left hand side, with the defensively flimsy Gordon and the ponderous Burn constantly exposed by Saka and White. Arsenal rarely looked in much danger from then on. Additionally, Califiori found the time to raid into enemy territory from left centre back as well as doing his defensive duties diligently, and Newcastle ran out of ideas and steam as the home side did to them what they love to do to us; which is take a lead and then waste time. And then a bit more... It was hysterical to see Howe and his perma-tanned pr*ck of a sidekick Tindall whingeing to the referee about time-wasting. Shoe. Other. Foot...
A few little moments gave us a frisson of excitement here and there. Havertz got 15 minutes. Tierney quite rightly got a few minutes in front of an appreciative home crowd towards the end on his final Emirates Stadium appearance. As did Jorginho.
And I'll pick out two additional small moments for you; both involving the man - to give him his full title - known as Big Dan Burn At The Back. Firstly, we all looked on in awe as MLS won an aerial battle with the 6'7" colossus.
And then we saw Havertz, who'd been buzzing around Burn since he got onto the field, fouled by the defender - who then threw the ball at the grounded German. Referee Hooper - not far behind the likes of Oliver and Taylor in my mind on the Over-rated Official Chart - failed to even admonish BDBATB; let alone take out his card to him. Although he still found time to book Arteta for kicking the ball inaccurately back into play. Thus demonstrating the full level of PGMOL anti-Arsenal bias (Arteta banned from the touchline for Sunday as a result).
As we moved into the seventh minute of 5 minutes of injury time (Raya also having been booked for what is fair to say was some blatant time-wasting), Newcastle won a corner, and I turned to those around me and said: 'Here we go. Penalty to Newcastle incoming.'. As it happens, Raya caught the ball, and there was a little fracas - handbags out - which led to a further two minutes of delay whilst the VAR searched desperately for a reason to award a spot kick. But there was none, the final whistle blew, and second place was secured. Just look at this photo of MLS enjoying himself in the middle of the rumpus, by the way. What a character!
Just a simple victory at Southampton to follow, I'm sure, to end the season. A bit of an anti-climax in the end, but whilst Arsenal have taken a step back in the Premier League, there has definitely been a progression in the Champions League. Bearing in mind everything that has gone against the team this season, it could have been worse. As Arteta said: 'Any other team; I've seen it. With one injury to finish 8th, 16th, 17th' - we know to whom he refers... I'll cover this post-season, but with all the injuries and setbacks second place ain't that bad.
I had a bit of good-natured banter with a Newcastle fan on the way out of the ground. With him and his mates chanting: 'Second again olé olé', and 'F*ck all again olé olé', I pointed out that it was a bit much from a team that had just won its first trophy in 70 years. He saw the irony, of course. And I know that it's banter, but all those supporters we've heard try to bait us with 'Second again'... well, most would kill for second place!
The talk post-game from Arteta, Odegaard and Rice was of disappointment, and of 'going again' next season. I for one haven't lost faith - I think that on the whole Arsenal have been particularly unfortunate this season, and we've seen squads who've suffered far less misfortune slip far further down the table - and with the required strengthening they'll be up there yet again next season. Improvement isn't linear - there will always be ups and downs - and I'll leave you with this: the last time that Arsenal finished runners-up in the Premier League three times in a row (1999, 2000, 2001) they went on to win The Double the following season!
So C. O. Y. G!!!